Monday, April 7, 2014
Sunday, September 15, 2013
GREEN BERET
I am a member of the Vietnam
generation, a survivor of the draft, Johnson, Nixon, Bundy, and MacNamara’s
band. I didn’t go to Vietnam. My service consisted of only one and a half days
in the military, expelled from uniform because of a knee ailment common to
growing young men, but I tried, enlisting when I was 18 because my grandfather
served in World War One, my father in World War two, and it was my turn. A
rather simplistic view, but it was a simpler time. While I was spared any personal
horror of that useless war, many of my friends were not, and one of them was
John Giese.
A year my senior, he and I were
members of a small group of cohorts in my high school who preferred laughing to
fighting, thinking to grunting, and conversation over perspiration. Fledgling
philosophers we were, flexing our green intellects at every opportunity,
arguing just for fun, assuming opposing positions for laughs, and seldom taking
ourselves, or anyone else for that matter, seriously. John was the unofficial
leader of the group, the son of two college professors and a brother to
Maryanne, a lovely young woman prone to breaking hearts and promises with a
delightful smile that dissipated anger like fog in the wind. John was a
brilliant student who sailed through high school with straight A’s and little
effort, who could easily have gone on scholarship to nearly any college he
chose. He was well liked by many of us but, because of his mind, his grades,
and his honesty, not overly popular among the herd. Admired by teachers and
many parents for his mind, appreciated by many young lovelies for his looks and
personality, John remained his own man and went his own way, two reasons we
were surprised when joined the military. He announced one day that he was
leaving. The next day he was gone. I didn’t see him again for over two years.
One autumn evening, while attempting
to study in my college dorm room (a skill I never did master) a call from the
desk informed me that a visitor awaited. It was a rare occurrence, and I
hustled downstairs to find a grinning John Giese waiting for me, dressed in
full uniform wearing a green beret. After a disgusting display of male bonding,
we went out for a beer. Sitting in a small campus tavern some time later, John
attracted the attention of a table of sailors who had drifted in the joint, the
largest of whom had little good to relate about any branch of the military
except the Navy. As time went on and he drank more beer, he began to aim his
insults at John and, more specifically, John’s green beret. John smiled and
ignored him. He had always been a rather mild mannered person, anything but
confrontational, a thinker, not a fighter. As the insults became more personal,
he suggested that we leave before things got out of hand. I agreed and, as we
stood to go, the sailor, forty pounds heavier and six inches taller than John,
moved to block our path and offered my friend serious insult directly in his
face. John’s only reply was, “outside, Swabbie.”
As the sailor turned to lead the way
out of the tavern, John picked up a nearby barstool and slammed it across the
man’s upper back, knocking the sailor face down on the dirty barroom floor. He
flipped the dazed man over on his back, lifted him up a foot or so by the front
of his uniform, and struck him a hammer blow across the bridge of his nose that
sent blood spatters flying in all directions. Then John walked through the
stunned crowd and out the door with me on his heels. At the time, it was the
single most graphic display of controlled violence I had ever witnessed, and it
shook me deeply. John grunted, “Gotta go. Call ya in a couple days,” and walked
off down the street to his car.
I went home for the weekend and told
my grandfather of the incident, and how easily John had done what he did. “War
changes a man, boy,” he said. “Can’t help it. Fellers that been through it
ain’t never really the same no more.” That’s all he would say on the subject
and I let it drop, but it worried me. Later that day I received a call from
John who suggested we go pheasant hunting the next morning. I agreed. I called
one of my grandfather’s cronies, a man named Arberry Yont for permission to
hunt his land and to request that he chain up his massive, ill-tempered yard
monster, a canine composed of equal parts of Newfoundland, chainsaw, and T-Rex.
Arberry agreed, and the next morning John and I arrived at his empty home to
hear the dog in question raging at us from his position of restraint in the
back yard. We were preparing our various hunting accoutrement when the dog, now
dragging a length of heavy chain, erupted from behind the house and headed
straight for me. A hundred and thirty pounds of mottled brown attitude,
complete with yellow ivories and excessive saliva, bore down on me like a
freight train with fur. My gun was unloaded, and I simply could not move. John
came over the hood of the car as the calamity was about to close with me, hit
the dog with a body block, struggled briefly on the ground with the animal, and
broke the dog’s neck. It took only seconds and the canine lay quivering on the
cold earth. John, after calmly watching the dog die, turned to me. He had tears
running down his face and was beginning to tremble. “Take me home,” he said. I
did. That was the last time I ever saw my friend. A few days later I
encountered his father who told me John had gone to Paris Island. That’s all I
ever heard about him. His name is not on the wall, and now, nearly fifty years
later I have no idea what ever became of him except the world lost John Geise,
as it lost thousands upon thousands of other young men and their futures, some
in the grave, some ruined in one way or another, and some still in-country, no
matter where they are. Once in a while I still feel a twinge of guilt because I
did not go to Vietnam. More often, I feel regret and anger because any of us
did.
Monday, August 26, 2013
EL ROJO (Attitude In Red)
His
name was El Rojo. He was a rooster. I got him from Jeremiah Mavis when I lived
in almost-Arkansas Missouri. Jeremiah Mavis was an Arkansas Ridge Runner. Big,
raw-boned and redheaded, he was of hearty Ozark stock. His biggest claims to
fame were his wife’s newly installed bosoms, and the Arkansas record crappie on
his trailer wall.
Jerry assumed all northerners to be
ignorant, but for some reason he took a shine to me and would do almost
anything, as long as it didn’t involve work, to assist in my southern
education. Jerry operated on the fringes of the law. He made moonshine back in
the hills somewhere, spotlighted deer on a regular basis, and kept fighting
chickens. Cock fighting qualified as major entertainment in that area in those
days, and Jerry had several prime contenders. When Sheriff Cletus F. “Bo”
Dawkins shut Jerry’s operation down, he was left with more roosters than a man
needed. I ran into him at the lumberyard. We jawed for a while and I informed
him I was about ready to install eight hens in a chicken coop I was building.
“Gotchee a rooster?” he asked.
“Not yet.”
“Naow, I’ll tell yew whut,” he went
on. “Yew git thet thar coop set up, an’ I’ll gitchee a rooster thet’ll wear
them girls plumb out! Git twenny-tew aigs a day outa them eight hens a yourn.
Lemme know when yer ready.” Jerry was prone to exaggeration.
I told him I’d call when it was
rooster time and he asked to borrow a rifle to do a little hunting that night.
It seems that Sheriff Dawkins had confiscated Jerry’s gun the week before.
Nothing came without strings when dealing with Jerry.
A few days later, chicken coop,
feeder, waterer, nest boxes and hens in place, I called him about his offer of
a rooster. He showed up a couple of hours later in road gear on an old Ford
tractor. Apparently his truck wasn’t running again. He had a rooster in a sack
and my rifle, badly in need of cleaning, on his lap.
“Got ‘im rachear in this bag,” he
grinned. “Son, this hyar is a, by Gawd, rooster! I wuz gonna fight ‘im, but
naow I cain’t.”
He held the sack over the edge of
the chicken wire and dumped out the biggest rooster I’d ever seen.
“His name’s El Rojo!” Jerry crowed.
“Ain’t he somthin’?”
He was something, indeed. Over two
feet tall in various shades of red, he was steely of eye and belligerent in
attitude. He peered at me briefly, then attacked me through the fence.
“His wangs is clipped naow,” Jerry
advised me as he climbed back aboard the tractor. “Ya’ll might wanna keep ‘em
cut back some. I speck ol’ El Rojo’ll fly like a turkey if’n yew don’t. Have
fun, Yankee!” He roared off down the lane.
Some fun. Every time I got near the
pen, Rojo was there, watching and waiting for another opportunity to attack me.
Fearless, predatory, intimidating he was, and for several weeks I worked around
that bird. Whenever I was in the chicken yard I had to watch my back,
periodically ducking him as he flapped at my face, trying to spur me. The hens
loved him, pumping out eggs like machines. Large, brown, often double-yolked,
golden-centered specimens of the layers art poured forth in glorious bounty and
I was glad to have them, but I paid a heavy price in dealing with that
murderous rooster. Finally, I had all I could take.
On the way to gather eggs one day,
my job because of the obvious danger, I picked up a length of oak two-by-two
and informed my questioning wife that I was going to kill that damn bird if he
even looked at me sideways. Enough was enough. I was one step into the chicken
yard when he came at me, chest high, spurs extended. I laid a swing on him that
would have done credit to Babe Ruth and, when Rojo hit the ground, I knew he
was dead. I picked him up by the feet and tossed him in the bed of my old Chevy
truck to be disposed of later. Eating that rooster was out of the question.
Later in the day I went back to the
truck. The bird was gone. I assumed a raccoon or coyote had made off with him
until that evening when I went to put up the girls. There he was, pacing with
the hens from his position outside the fence. As I approached him, he eyed me
lovingly and began to voice that particular chicken purr of contentment. He
fell in beside me, walking where I walked, stopping where I stopped, staying
close to me with the loyalty of a dog and offering me no hostility whatever.
And so it went. From that day forward, when I worked outside, I would let him
out of the pen and he was my companion. Clucking and purring as we went about
our business. He learned to take a single kernel of corn from between my lips,
without his beak touching my skin. He did his job admirably, keeping the hens
happy and the egg basket full. His glorious crackling crow would echo around
the place, his clucking would greet me as I’d approach the pen while he’d pace
back and forth asking to be let out. He’d even sit in the porch swing with me,
from time to time, and enjoy the evening breeze. Nothing else, people, dogs,
cats, or pigs, could get close to him. He’d attack on sight, but he was devoted
to me. When the time came, after nearly two years, for us to leave the place I
did not know what to do with him. We gave the hens away, but El Rojo was so
nasty to anyone but me nobody would have a thing to do with him.
About a quarter mile behind the
house, just in the edge of a patch of woods, was a spring-fed stock pond, a
waterhole for various wild denizens in the area. I walked Rojo back there the
evening we were ready to leave, scattered a gallon or so of chicken feed out in
the weeds, and gently tied his leg to a small sapling with a piece of twine I
was sure he could easily peck through. As I walked away he called to me, and I
could hear him struggle with his bonds. I didn’t have the heart to look back.
Well over a year later, I had
occasion to visit an ex-neighbor lady who lived near that pond. At dusk, as I
was preparing to leave, I heard a glorious crackling crow wafting up from the
woods. I stopped and listened with appreciation.
“Thet’s thet rooster ya’ll left by
the pond when ya moved away,” she said. “Nasty bird. Won’t let ya near that
pond unless ya carry a big stick. Ya got a stick, he’ll just chirp at ya, an’
follow right along like a dog.”
It’s always nice to learn that old
friends are doing well.
Awesome Indies Reviewer
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Sunday, August 18, 2013
YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME
The movie starred Mel Gibson and
Helen Hunt. My wife and I loved it. “What Women Want” is a very enjoyable
romantic comedy about a male chauvinist pig who can, all of a sudden, hear what
women are thinking. It also caused Laura and me to do some thinking about the
battle of the genders. So far there is no clear winner, but women seem to be
ahead on points…at least that’s what they’d like us to believe.
Now before any feminine hackles
start to rise, let me say that I’d like to see women win the fight, especially
if they could do it in the next thirty seconds or so. I’m sick and tired of it
all. I would readily admit defeat just to stop all the carnage, but
unfortunately, my personal surrender would have no effect on the battle as a
whole. I’d break ranks and run away, but that’s tough to do when you’re
surrounded. I’ve tried screaming “Please don’t hurt me, I give up!” but the
noise of the American Women’s Battle Cry drowns out my feeble shout. You know
it. Many of you even utter it from time to time.
“Men just don’t understand
us!”
Ladies, you’re right. We don’t. We
absolutely, positively, do not understand women. The statement is a generality
that is completely correct, as long as it is not applied to specifics. When it
is applied to specifics, it is as absurd as any other sexist, racist, hateful
utterance on the planet. Tell me men don’t understand women all day long, I
have no problem. But if you tell me that I do not understand women because I am
a man, smile.
Even though I freely admit my guilt
and complicity in the ongoing conflict, there are some double standards that
irk me a bit. If a woman says “my husband just doesn’t understand me”, the rest
of us, male and female alike, are supposed to look at her sympathetically and
say “aaawwww”. If a man says “my wife just doesn’t understand me”, the rest of
us look around for the poor, unsuspecting barfly he’s saying it to. Which
brings me to another point. Be advised, I’m using the term “I” in the broadest
possible sense, as a generality applying to men as a group, not to any specific
man.
If it is true that men are from Mars
and women are from Venus, then women are not from Venus and Mars. If I do not
understand you because we are from different planets, what the hell makes you
think you have such a firm grip on what makes me tick? Answer: You don’t. Difference? I don’t expect you to understand
me, and when you don’t, I don’t worry my pretty little head about it.
There is a great deal of psychobabble
out there on how little boys are programmed to be warlike, sidewalk-spitting,
crotch-clutching, beetle-browed clods, and more than a little of it is true.
Little girls are programmed, too. They are taught to keep some mystery in a
relationship, to not give too much of themselves, emotionally or physically,
away. They are also taught that they will have to suffer in one way or another
at the hands and will of men. Then they are given various visions of prince
charming, or vine covered cottages, or perfect picket fences, and told to
aspire to them. Women have been taught fear and fantasy. Just like the guys,
gals, you bought into the bull. We have all been misled, all of us. Let me say
that again. ALL OF US.
We have had stereotypes thrown at us
from earliest memory, and our internal computers were programmed, whether we
liked it or not, by generation after generation of people whose only
qualification to be parents was the fact that somebody could get somebody else
pregnant. We are, for the most part, composites of what we have been told we
should be, what we have emulated from experience, or what we have run from
because of fear. Even in our overreactions to sex, ours or somebody else’s, we
are not consistent. Homosexual men, for the most part, get along with women
fine, even love them dearly. Homosexual women are often antagonistic to men,
especially those who strive so hard to appear male themselves.
Let’s get back to the original
question. What do women want? I don’t know, and neither do most women, for the
very reasons I mentioned earlier. I suspect, in their heart of hearts, it’s
much simpler than we have been led to believe. Fortunately, in my life, I have
enjoyed association with a number of remarkable women, and what they seemed to
most desire is also what most men want, when all the B.S. is scraped away.
Love. Men and women don’t have to understand each other to love each other.
Parents don’t need to understand their children, or children their parents.
Love soars above all that. It’s up to us
to stop pointing fingers and making demands, and realize that while men may
never understand women, and women may never understand men, a person can at
least come close to understanding another person, even if one is male and the
other female. When the generalities are dropped, it ain’t them against us any
more. It’s just the two of you, each with the with the standard issue BS that
comes with the respective gender, and each with plenty of love to go around
once fear gets out of the way. It’s all part of a plan that we understand even less
than we understand each other.
Monday, June 17, 2013
EAT A SANDWICH
I’m
going to date myself horribly in this piece, so let me admit the disgusting
truth up front: I’m old. I have worked hard to reach this age, and the exertion
required to continue climbing the ladder of years gets more and more difficult
as time goes by but, I suspect, it is not nearly as taxing as the effort in
which so many engage to remain young, or the self-abuse and struggle required
to remain beautiful. Because I don’t give a rodent’s rectum about appearing to
be half my age, and because I feel that those that prize form above function
range from the sadly misguided to the laughably ludicrous, I am able to quash
any shred of empathy for these poor souls and pass judgment on them without the
slightest twinge of guilt. What fun.
And
men, don’t think for one minute that we’re off the hook. Many of us deplore age
in women, turning instead to ending longtime relationships in favor of trophy
wives, or pursue arm charm and eye candy, lying to and cheating on someone else
while stealing from ourselves, in the vain belief that associating with
attractive youth will keep us young and attractive, too. We, men and women,
tend to focus on the perishable and neglect the substantial. Age is ugly. Youth
is beautiful. And, as we all know, youth is slim, firm, and taught. It is also
temporary. But, for only the giving of money and the acceptance of pain, we can
reshape, rebuild, restore, remodel and, hopefully, reclaim lost youth with the
pinch of a needle, the slash of a scalpel, and the denial of the inevitable.
While
surfing television the other day, I encountered a short report on some terribly
vital and celebrated fashion show. I watched a minute or so of the exhibition;
stick figured women of indecipherable age slinking up and down an elevated
walkway as onlookers photographed them and a commentators spoke of what the
“right” people were wearing this season, as they implied that only the
alarmingly unaware among us could even consider appearing in public without
being draped in one of the magnificent creations on display.
Fashion
bugs me. I do not engage in its pursuit. I am not concerned with labels. I do
not care if a garment says Hillfiger or hill climber, Prada or nada. I consider
those that are dependant upon such trivia to be as laughable as those that are
famous for merely being famous. But this time, while watching the parade, my
scorn of the fashionistas and the enriching shot of superiority that came with
watching such a tableau while brushing dog hair off my Walmart sweatclothes and
drinking coffee in the living room, was pushed aside by examining the women
skulking up and down the runway. My God, ladies. What’s happened to you? When
did such women, many of them only girls actually, so thin as to be emaciated,
become beautiful? Did Twiggy start all this?
Those
of you old enough to remember Twiggy…think back. How odd we thought she was,
almost alien, nearly something from the mothership in Close Encounters. This
big-eyed, no breasted, switch of a girl…asexual…boyish…painfully thin.
Different? Sure. Attractive? Hardly. I have a tendency to shout “Eat a
sandwich!” at these emaciated denizens of the vomitorium. Evidently Twiggy
heard me. Some years later she appeared in a movie with Robin Williams and
actually had a figure. Well past thirty, she was cute, womanly, attractive, and
rather normal looking.
Let’s
go back a decade or two before the madness struck, and recall some of the sex
symbols of old. We will forego Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield, for they were
nearly human cartoons of sexuality, and look at some others. Gina Lolabrigida,
Elke Sommer, Ursela Andress, Jane Russell, Senta Berger, Ann Margaret…no
walking skeletons these, no body builders either. And let’s not forget another
shining example, Sophia Loren. Lovely in youth, outstanding in adulthood,
amazing in age, giving lie to the bull that women must be young and thin to be
attractive. It is simply not true, and yet we have sold this bill of goods to
society’s daughters for several decades now. Who’s at fault? All of us of
course, to varying degrees, but possibly women more than men. I hear the
screams of protest, but think. Unlike many of the other species on this planet,
it is the female human who most often displays color and plumage to attract
suitors. It wasn’t always that way. Men wore makeup, wigs and high heels first,
but over the last few hundred years, in this society at least, the gals have
blown the guys out of the water! And these same marvelous creatures, these same
wonderful women, dressed to the nines, made up fit to kill, tucked and plucked,
surged and purged, complain bitterly if the wrong man leers, weep if they gain
two pounds, and scrabble until their French manicured nails break trying to
hold on to youth, a complete and total impossibility.
Speaking
of the denial of the inevitable, regard Suzanne Somers. Some of her personal
history is horrible. She is a survivor, no doubt about that. She is also a
caricature of her former self. Like someone who keeps adding chrome and
accessories to a motorcycle until the madness of accomplishment takes over and
the motorcycle itself can no longer even be seen, she has so disfigured herself
with surgery and stem cells as to look nearly like something from the Muppets
Take Manhattan. I don’t know if this aliment has a name, but I find it sad.
Sadder still, any of us run the risk of catching it.
My
wife of over forty years, the coveted Laura, was a model when I met her. An
attractive girl with a pretty face and a lovely figure, mindful of a young
Shirley MacLaine. She’d been the whole route, from duct tape in strategic
places to the eternal smile that comes from applying Vaseline to one’s teeth
before hitting the runway, thought it ridiculous and, with at least ten years
of easy work and good money ahead of her, she quit.
She
and I were watching the tube the other evening when a makeup commercial came
on, a lovely young face with pouting lips and gleaming eyes, extorting how
marvelous the product was in a seductive whisper.
“Fourteen,” Laura said.
I responded with the typical male
reply. “Huh?”
“Fourteen,” she repeated. “Maybe
younger.”
“What?”
“All you have to do is make up
little kids to look older and it drives the older women nuts. They pay through
the nose trying to look like their daughters. It was starting when I was in the
business. Just makes you sick, doesn’t it?”
It makes a lot of us sick. It makes
some of us dead. Anorexia and bulimia are not the problem. They are merely a
couple of the symptoms. It comes back to societal focus. We actually believe
that something outside ourselves is responsible for our happiness. Oh, to be
one size smaller, or one decade younger. God, just to have bigger boobs or a
smaller butt, or a larger home, or a younger wife or a fancier car, or dozens
of other things that are outside us that we’re convinced will make inside us
all better.
Of
course, I’m not saying we should neglect our bodies, we shouldn’t. We have to
live in them. Nor do I think that cosmetic surgery is completely wrong. That is
simply not true. But, if you believe that clothes make the man or woman, you
are what you drive, young is good and old is bad, or that your body is really
who and what you are, if you can still think independently at all, perhaps you
should consider re-thinking things a bit. There is one particular hazard that
affects all of us, I’m afraid. While I do not believe that the devil
necessarily wears Prada, I do believe that the fashion fire-lover is out there,
watching, waiting to pounce. Any of us are available to his wiles. Should you
encounter old scratch while walking down the street, do not issue that immortal
phrase, “Devil! Get thee behind me!” Sorry. Those jeans really do make your ass
look big.
After
I watched the snippet of the fashion show that started all this excess
verbiage, the regular program returned to the TV. A talk show of some variety.
The current guest was the lovely Keira Knightly. Beautiful girl, funny, sweet,
poised, popular. Keira, my very dear, if not for your sake, then for ours, EAT
A SANDWICH!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
KID
Those Less Fortunate
I
never saw him wearing anything except a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and the
ubiquotus boy’s footwear of the time, black and white Keds tennis shoes. He was
a year or so older than I, but pale and smaller, with a shock of floppy blond
hair. He lived with parents I never met down the river road a bit closer to the
Sangamon than my house. He didn’t go to school either, a wondrous achievement
in my nine-year-old estimation, not having to deal with the boredom, peer
pressure and politics of grade three.
I
first saw him as he came walking up the road past my house, as I was in the
yard struggling to realign the handlebars of my Huffy heavyweight, knocked out
of shape by a minor crash into the ditch in front of Randy Clinton’s house as I
attempted to avoid running over his mother’s yappy little dog. He, the boy, not
the dog, stood in the road and watched my labor for a moment. I said, “Hi,
Kid,” and he smiled and came closer. I never even knew his name, but I did
realize that he was different. Kid was not like the rest of us.
He
didn’t talk much, but he smiled a lot. And he hung around, but not like Danny
Kobel’s demanding little brother, Mud. Kid was not intrusive. If anything, I
found him to be an inducer of contentment. He spent most of the afternoon
watching me fix the handlebars and then the fender, asking no questions, saying
little, but smiling as if observing the feeble reconstruction of the front end
of my Huffy was more than just a way to pass the time, but something both
fascinating and uplifting. When I asked him what he did instead of going to
school he said, “Sometimes I set, sometimes I mess around. I got a pogo stick.”
We parted company near dusk, Kid walking away down River Road into the
deepening gloom.
The
next day was a school day, and when I arrived home I found him propped up
against the big Elm tree on the edge of my front yard. We sat and leaned
against it for over an hour, talking a little and enjoying Spring during a time
when sitting outside in the grass did not bring worries of ticks, stained
clothing, or dangerous passers-by. Upon questioning, he confessed to me that
his father worked and his mom “done the dishes.” He had no brothers and sisters
and had moved to my hometown from another small metropolis called Farmer City.
He was never around on weekends, but for the balance of spring, unless it was
raining, when I’d come home from school Kid would be waiting.
During
summer, when I wasn’t occupied with the other members of my little group of
river rats and small town troublemakers or doing farm work, sometimes Kid would
go fishing with me. My grandfather had spent considerable time and effort
teaching me the art of bank fishing with cane poles, the necessity of quiet, and
the value of patience. I was good at it. On our first venture to the river, Kid
confessed he’d never gone fishing. I was astounded. Everybody had gone fishing.
Everybody I knew fished. But not Kid. On our walk, I explained the rules. Don’t
stomp up and down the bank. No loud talking. Don’t throw anything in the water.
Sit still, watch your line or your bobber, shut up, and wait. He blew me away.
His patience and ability to not only be still, but to sit absolutely
motionless, was amazing. The only giveaway he was even conscious was that
smile.
He was
not perfect, however. He could never manage to put night crawlers on the hook
without sticking his thumb, and he couldn’t see the line well enough to
deadline fish for channel cats. But he had the self-control it took to watch a
bobber dance sideways against the current and disappear into the muddy depths
without panicking and attempting to set the hook too soon. He understood that
he could not help carry the cane poles because they were my grandfather’s, and
if one got hit against a tree and the tip broken off, it was an eighty-mile
round trip to replace the type of cane pole he favored. An eighty-mile trek in
a 1949 Plymouth was not a journey to be taken lightly. I did, however, allow
him to carry the carefully prepared doughball and the diligently collected
worms. The first fish he caught with me, the first one he ever caught for that
matter, was about a ten-pound carp, shining golden in the sun on a line
suspended from a twelve-foot cane pole…a feat requiring considerable will and
strength. He got it done, tackling the carp as it flopped around in the weeds
on the bank and, with instruction, even got the limp piece of clothesline I
used as a stringer through the gill and mouth of the fish and tied it off on a
tree root at the waterline. Had I made such a catch, vocal celebration would
have been inevitable, but not Kid. Just that smile.
That autumn, a week or two from Halloween, he
was gone. No Kid waiting under the big Elm anymore. I learned later that his
family had just moved away. He and I had never cut corn out of beans together,
never ridden bikes or played baseball with each other, never fired .22’s,
exchanged secrets, ridden horses, smoked stolen cigarettes, or a dozen other
things that my brat-pack and I had done. I can’t even say we were really friends,
but I missed him. My grandfather, who appreciated children as much as any adult
I have ever known, spoke of him once.
“Aw, he warn’t quite right, David,”
he said. “But I believe he was a fine boy.”
I
hadn’t thought of Kid in fifty years, I suppose, until the other day a
television show brought him to mind. My granddad was correct. He wasn’t quite
right. He was slow, didn’t go to school, and all that, but it strikes me now
that education, income, acquisitions, and achievement cannot bring any of us
what Kid just naturally had. Peace. I knew it then, even if I didn’t realize
it. It was right there in that smile.
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